BONDO
We are starting a simple movement:
Embracing the full richness of life through heart-to-heart connections.
What is BONDO?
Heart-to-heart connections with loved ones, friends, and acquaintances feed a primary need in all people.
Poets describe this feeling with words of love and longing, but true connections are born from the stillness of an open heart.
Spiritual seekers seek this stillness by turning within, often overlooking where God’s presence is most alive — in the human encounter.
BONDO describes the capacity to form heart-to-heart connections in the moment and grow them over time. It’s a conscious act similar to the theatrical term, “breaking the fourth wall.”
In the same way that the fusion of nuclear forces powers the universe, BONDO transforms human boundaries to release love, creativity, and meaning. The closest equivalent comes from Plato’s concept of Eros: the ‘ladder of love’ that guides human transformation.
We have identified seven guideposts – Seven Seas – for building these deeper, richer connections.
This is an invitation to step beyond dogmas and theologies to discover the living presence we seek by opening our hearts to others.
The Seven Seas of Bondo
1. CONNECTION — A shared, energetic vibration deepens through face-to-face proximity and time. It describes a deep sense of being on the same team. In Bondo, a shared guidance steers the ship so that decisions flow effortlessly.
2. CONVERSATION — Call and response is a creative force that builds the substance of intimacy. Unlike “communication,” being “in conversation” is always two-way.
3. CARING — Caring for our fellow humans begins with emotional availability. This means stepping outside of oneself and recognizing the needs of another.
4. CURIOSITY — Everyone carries a hidden story of struggle and adversity that we can learn to embrace without judgment. In true Bondo, we give the gift of attention to not take a friend or partner for granted. Being attentive is how we grow closer.
5. CIRCULATION — Like bees bringing pollen to the hive, intimacy is energized by the impressions and life experiences we bring into a relationship. The influx of outside energies prevents the sticky cling of co-dependency.
6. COURAGE — A genuine connection begins with risk. Crossing the gulf of conflict and misunderstanding releases a force that opens the heart. This means placing one’s opinion on the shelf, even if for a minute, to understand someone’s point of view.
7. CONSTANCY — A commitment made outside of time transcends the walls of despair that divide us. Can we stay on the path with another despite our differences? This is the key to continuous renewal, emotional availability, and love.
Each friend is a world in us.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
~ Anais Nin
“If you can fall in love again and again… you’ve got it half-licked.”
~ Henry Miller reflecting on life at eighty
Photo: Henry Miller & Anais Nin
Videos
Bondo is the common thread for the people who rise to the top in life, career, and love.
It also takes many forms: Michell Obama offering 15 seconds of connection, Kelly Clarkson spreading the love with a street musician, and Anthony Bourdain going heart-to-heart with the pizza guy.
Thoughts on Bondo
“Empathy is… communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘you are not alone’.” ~ Brene Brown
Empathy is connecting with people so we know we're not alone when we're in struggle. Empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing; it doesn't require that we have experienced the same situation they are going through.Empathy is...
The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love… is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. ~ James Baldwin
"The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. "Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow...
When two people both give themselves up in order to come close to each other… their being together is a continual falling. ~ Rilke
I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other... All companionship can consist only in the strengthening of two neighboring solitudes: when two people both give themselves up in order to...
Bondo is a work in progress…
Connecting heart-to-heart is natural — but you have take the plunge.
We will be creating opportunities to build some muscle memory with Bondo.
Author Bruce Miller, with help from his therapist friends, developed Bondo as a way to restore deep human connection after his wife passed away a year ago. Much to his surprise, it worked.
To learn more about the writing and work of Bruce Miller, visit his author website at IThou.com
Or visit Bruce’s Substack blog at IThou.Substack.com.
Bondo Life is a work in progress being organized by Bruce Miller and Carole Anne Cantey. Please stay tuned as we bring the people and parts together.
